How to Regain Confidence After Having a Child – Baby Reset


regaining confidence after having a baby

My sister just had a baby, and I’ve been watching her go through all of the typical things associated with a new child in the house like lack of sleep and trying to keep career and family balanced. During these stressful times, it’s easy to feel overwhelmed. Your confidence can take a major hit during this season of life. I decided to do some research to discover the best ways to regain confidence after having a child.

So, how do you regain confidence after having a child? In addition to the baby, make yourself a priority too. Talk about your struggles openly and create a plan that involves losing unwanted weight, doing your hair and make-up, scheduling downtime and giving yourself some space not to have to be the perfect mom or get it right.

Post-partum blues is a normal occurrence. It is easy to feel lost during this time. For the first six months after the newborn arrives, you might feel great. Then, you might feel like your self-esteem plummets. This is where things get interesting.

The extra weight isn’t coming off, you find that you can go all day without taking the time to brush your teeth. You have no sense of routine, and you are tired all of the time.

It’s time to branch out.

How to feel good about yourself after having a baby

A Norwegian study led by Sarah Verbiest showed common dips and peaks that start while you are still pregnant.

After following thousands of women through pregnancy, delivery and the first few years, they found that your self-esteem may go down the toilet for a long time possibly even to the tune of around 3 years after having a baby.

The good news is that eventually most report that they recover their self-confidence.

There seems to be a correlation between how good their relationships with their partners is going and how confident they feel about themselves. In essence, it’s daddy’s time to shine. At least the relationship needs to feel right. If you don’t feel supported by your partner, or you are on your own, you may feel out of sorts.

With all of the sleepless nights and naps during the day, the diaper changes, the troubles nursing, and feeding, it’s easy to feel permanently jet-lagged. The sense for many new mothers is that they fall out of society.

A lack of openness and communication also keeps conversation to a minimum and the isolation really begins.

You may be asking yourself:

How can I regain confidence?

Here are the most common areas in which people experience a loss of confidence, and what you can do about it.

Physical Changes after Having a Baby

How do you look hot after having a baby?

If you are feeling unattractive after having a baby, it’s time to get mindful of your diet and your exercise regimen. Here are some practical steps that will certainly help your mood, tummy, bottom and boobs.

  • Running/Walking: Go for a run with a power stroller. You know the ones I’m talking about. It’s the strollers with the big wheels (usually) in a tricycle configuration. These strollers are made so that you can run without worrying about the wheels getting hung up on rocks or broken sidewalks.
  • Health Conscious: A mom of a newborn who takes their health seriously is “hot.” You will notice that once the regimen has gotten to the point where you are consistent, you will start feeling better and looking forward to that time.
  • Ditch the No-Wake Zone: Friends of ours bring their baby to our CrossFit gym. It gets the baby used to the sounds of clanking and dropping weights, and it is amazing how they have adapted. Don’t let “waking up the baby” stop you from getting to your workouts.
  • Don’t Binge: You may find you want to check out. It’s easy to veg in front of the TV with the bowl of you favorite snacks, but if you are going to shake the new mommy look, you are gonna want to replace this habit.
  • Shake the Significance: If someone asks you if you are pregnant, it’s time to laugh. Many women have experienced this. Don’t let it get to your head. Be okay with the fact that you just had a baby (even if it has been a year or more). We all adapt differently. Go easy on yourself.

If you have been struggling with body image after baby joined you on life’s journey, it may be time to go for it. Tackle your body’s current physique and get to it. Remember results may take a while.

If you are still in the first 6 months of motherhood and breastfeeding, your body’s natural hormonal balance will promote rapid weight loss with exercise.

If you are outside of that window, well, get to it anyways. Do something today towards your goal. Even if it is only 5 minutes, signal to your body that it’s time for change.

Do your best, forget the rest.

Confidence with your new baby and being new to motherhood

How do new moms gain confidence?

  • Beware of Advice Avalanche: You just hung up the phone with Aunt B. She told you all of the things that you need to remember to be a good mom. The problem is, you just got a lecture from the church secretary, the lady in line at the grocery store, and the bank teller, who has 5 kids. All of the advice can be a joy kill. You have got to let go of all that. Take what you want. You are the result of many generations of people.
  • Drop the Doubt: Thankfully, there are some innate things telling you how to care for your baby. Listen to your heart. When things become unclear after deliberation, then you can ask for some help. Don’t underestimate the power of biology.
  • Me-time Moments: You might feel like a bad mom if you find yourself needing time away from Tiny Tim, but this is healthy. It doesn’t mean that you are abandoning your baby. When you feel better about yourself, you can be better for everyone.
  • Research Reality: These days, there are tons of information that you can access and/or download. Tune into a new mommies podcast or visit your local library. Learn as much as you can. Before you know it, you will be a pro. It actually goes pretty fast.
  • Boycott the Brag: It’s normal to be a proud mom. But, it can get out of hand. Refrain from bragging about your baby’s progress. Other moms may feel alienated. Likewise, if you are the receiving end, and your sweet Susie isn’t walking as fast someone else’s child, sweep it under the rug.
  • Sing like a canary: Find a few fellow moms your partner or a good friend where you feel safe to open up. Don’t bottle up the struggles you are experiencing. Let them out. At the very least, keep a journal. I recommend journaling for 3 minutes per day. Just write down whatever you are feeling. It perges the soul.

Related Questions:

What to do if you have lost confidence at work after baby’s birth:

With so much going on at home it is easy to have a tough time at work.

If you have to leave your baby at home, which is most often the case, this can intensify at lack of confidence at work. It’s hard to work when you are distracted.

Have a conversation with your boss. You need to understand that while on the outside it looks like you may just need to adapt to the new requirements of being a mom, you can be suffering from post-partum depression.

This creates a lack-luster feeling regarding work. It can crush motivation and leave you wondering if you still have what it takes to work.

Rest assured that this feeling is usually temporary. You will most likely see an improvement over time. Consider taking some time off. You can also go back to the basics and see if there are other things that are robbing you of your confidence. Read this article on regaining confidence at work when you are having anxiety.

What to do if you are a new mom feeling inadequate?

Realize this is normal. Feeling inadequate has a biological advantage. It will make you careful. Usually mishaps come as a result of not being careful enough or a false sense of confidence in a skill you haven’t mastered.

Overtime, you will feel more adequate. If this is your first baby, your life routine is most likely upset.

Plan your days the best you can. Make sure to cut yourself some slack. Most likely baby Brie is just happy to be in your arms.

Bear in mind that they are more robust than we give them credit. Call on someone with experience, watch how they change diapers and deal with the little aspects of caring for an infant or toddler.

You will get the hang of it. Hang in there.

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Kat Clukey

I am so glad you are here, and have chosen to spend your time reading my blog. For the past 4 plus years, I have been on an intense mission to read books, go to seminars, and generally turn myself inside out to find out why some people seem to feel good in their own skin while I've struggled with self-worth and low self-esteem most of my adult life. I hope you find insights that help you on your journey!

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