The Confident Woman’s Walk – How To Stand And Walk On Purpose

Woman walking with Confidence

Walking with Confidence for girls (and women) can be seen as an art form. There are many different elements that are essential to your self-esteem. Learning to walk with confidence is something that is learned and perfected over time. This is something that was very difficult for me to learn, but by practicing life skills, you can learn as well.

So how do girls walk with confidence? ​A woman’s confident walk starts by clearing out negativity in your life and secretly celebrating your perks and flaws. Think of a confident walk as a combination of gliding and going somewhere on purpose. The top of your head should remain relatively steady as you walk.

It’s the kind of walk you would need if you were to carry a tray on your head.

Of course, your head can move a bit, and it’s really more about maintaining level eyes or at least eyes that appear focused on a specific point.

Oh yeah, and don’t forget to look natural, Nancy. Maybe a bit hard to do when I break it down into all of these steps.

Walking with confidence shows that you are comfortable with yourself, even your imperfections.

What Starbucks Taught Me About Walking Confidently As A Woman

For this blog post, I sat at a Starbucks for nearly 3 hours.

I wanted to see if I saw a woman walk into the place that had the vibe, of I own this place b*ches.

The morning was full of women (from girls to elderly ladies) coming in for their shot of morning fuel.

Surprisingly, most had a similar “rushed” or “I need this to survive” look on their faces as they paraded in, hustling to get in and get out.

Somewhere between observing mobile order customers and the expanding and shrinking cues of coffee addicts, I glanced out of the front window.

That was when I saw her.

She was walking confidently relaxed towards the front door.

She was a middle-aged woman that was probably about 5ft 6in. She had dirty-blonde hair and was dressed in high-waist jeans and a simple white shirt with some horizontal black stripes.

But her confident walk was unmistakable. Although her clothes didn’t appear to be designer, the angle of her neck (nearly completely vertical), the speed of her walk (relaxed but purposeful) and her eyes fixed straight ahead had an elaborate effect on her aura.

Her movements definitely created an air of confidence and poise.

I really wanted to snap a picture to show you here, but I’d really need her permission, and with the slightly unsavory comments about her wardrobe, it wouldn’t have flown.

My point about the clothing is that your confident walk has nothing to do with how you dress.

If she had walked straight up to me and asked me how my coffee was, I would have simply assumed she owned the place.

That is what her super-confident walk said about her, and it gave me the clues on what’s important when you want to display confidence with your walk.

Here are the things you want to pay specific attention to in order to up your ability to walk confidently as a woman.

  • Posture
  • Head position
  • Neck position
  • Speed (Cadence)
  • Up and down movement
  • Eye position
  • Mindset

How Can I Look Strong And Confident (As A Woman)?

Trust me I get it! We, ladies, are flooded with images and ideas of what confidence looks like.

However, most of these stem from unrealistic beauty standards on social media platforms and magazines. It can be hard to find the balance between finding your style and becoming superficial.

When you try too hard, it tends to have the opposite effect.

Looking strong and confident can only happen when you are first confident from within, but building your style and happiness with your appearance is something that every girl strives for.

If wearing cute clothes makes you feel confident in public, do it. If wearing makeup gives you a sense of self-assurance, wear it. The only trick is that you shouldn’t be so dependent on material things that you feel boring or ugly without them.

If you struggle with dressing yourself, some great places to look at are websites like Pinterest or fashion magazines. The great thing about these platforms is that they can give you ideas on how to create an outfit that uses things you probably already have in your closet.

Another great way to look strong and confident is to address people positively. Make direct eye contact with people when you talk to them.

Smile more. But, make your smile appear slowly across your face when you make eye contact with someone, and make sure it isn’t exaggerated.

How you interact with others makes all the difference when it comes to looking confident as a woman.

Often, An Overlooked Part Of Looking Confident Is Practicing Self-Care

Besides simply practicing good hygiene, make sure you are eating nutritious food with the right amount of calories.

Self-care can also come in the form of taking time away from social media or electronics. If your life allows it, it might be a great idea to take a week every month away from social media, or set time aside each day to “turn everything off.”

Social media can make us compare ourselves to others which can be toxic for us girls when we have a sense that we don’t measure up.

Learning how to be someone that doesn’t always have to post on social media about their day can let people know that you are confident in yourself and don’t depend on likes for your sense of self.

How Can I Look Confident In School?

I’ve heard from a lot of girls that school can be one of the number one place where they don’t feel confident. High school and college sure served up their ups and downs for me.

Maybe you are just fine at home, with friends or in environments you like. But as soon as you step through your school’s doors you become shy and unsure of yourself.

This feeling is completely normal and many people go through it. It has taken me a long time (years) to learn how to be sure of myself and not doubt my good qualities.

The best way to gain more confidence in school is to take some risks.

  • Join a club,
  • Run for class office
  • Volunteer
  • Play sports
  • Improve your GPA

The more opportunities you have to meet new people and prove to yourself that you are more than able to adapt to any situation, the more confident you will be.

The thing that helped me gain confidence in high school was joining a sports team.

It gave me an opportunity to not only meet new people but also work towards a goal I could reach. Putting effort into an activity can help you tremendously.

Another way to look confident in school is to stay on top of your academics. If your grades aren’t up to your standards, it will not only stress you out, but affect your view of yourself entirely.

If there’s a subject that you’re struggling with, try talking with your teacher or a peer for extra help. It’s better to ask for help than to sit and silence and struggle.

In school, chemistry used to be the subject that destroyed my confidence. It seemed like no matter how hard I studied I still couldn’t master the concepts.

It can affect you negatively if it seems like everyone else around you are succeeding and you feel like you are not.

However, asking my teacher for tutoring really helped. I was able to raise my grade which allowed me to no longer stress about that class and to be more confident in my ability as a student.

How Should You Carry Yourself As A Woman And Stand With Confidence?

We are all taught something different when it comes to how we should carry ourselves.

Much of how we carry ourselves as women are due to our paradigms, which are a set of patterns of behavior that drive us unconsciously.

You must be intentional about the things you want to change about yourself.

The basics of carrying yourself and standing with confidence starts with your posture.

Stand up straight and walk straight.

Slouching signals to the person you’re talking to that you are uninterested or uncomfortable.

This can be hard to take control of because we do it involuntarily.

I suggest you write down a positive statement and review it every day.

Something like:

I’m going to walk confidently and with purpose everywhere I go. I am going to be deliberate with how I stand and stand as if I were in a room with the president.

Positive Thought I’d recommend you commit to memory

Other Body Language The Displays Confidence

Eye contact is very important.

When you are talking with someone, do look around the room, but look them directly in the eye. If you feel awkward doing this, that’s totally normal.

Over time this will become much easier and you might find yourself doing it without making a mental note to do so.

I wrote an in-depth article about how long to maintain eye contact. There is a surprising balance between being creepy and concentrated. Read about the rules of healthy eye contact.

What about when speaking?

In your speech, try to speak with clarity and enthusiasm. Slurring your words or talking too fast isn’t classy, and can give off the impression that you don’t want to be participating in a conversation or that you are unprofessional.

Another tip about talking with others is to make sure you use the correct level of volume. Talking too quietly shows that your intimidated by the situation or are really shy.

On the other hand, talking too loudly might show that you’re super anxious or nervous.

The volume at which you talk is another way to show confidence and authority with any conversation you have, whether it is with a friend or you giving a presentation in front of a classroom.

If you’re not at the age where professional settings are relevant to you, you should still start your practice now.

Learning how to carry yourself with class is important in many situations that don’t always involve an interview.

Going to talk to a teacher or talking to the person you babysit for should all be done in a way that shows you are confident in yourself.

Body language is super important and makes more of a difference than you may initially think.

How Can I Boost My Confidence?

Boosting your confidence isn’t a simple task and it’s not something that can be done overnight.

However, anyone can build their confidence with a healthy level of self-belief, patience and practice.

Confidence comes first with accepting yourself for who you are.

Make a list of your qualities that you love about yourself. If you have trouble with the first part, try asking someone you’re close with about the positive qualities they see in you.

Many girls spend a large amount of their time focusing on the things they want to change about themselves rather than the things they are good at.

Post your list somewhere in your house that you visit often.

If there are things about yourself that you really do want to work on, that’s okay. We all have room for growth and improvement. Learning how to address these issues in a healthy way is important.

Make sure that when you set goals for yourself you set achievable goals.

The best way to attain a big goal is to set milestones for yourself along the way. If your goal is to go to the gym more often, tell yourself that you will go once a week and work your way to multiple days a week.

Or make a promise to yourself that you will put your hand on the door of the gym every day (even if you then turn around and leave).

Don’t bash yourself for not being perfect.

Another way to boost your confidence is to spend more time with people you love or doing things that excite you.

Regardless of if it is “productive,” if it makes you happy, carve out some time in your week to participate in it.

This could be something as simple as drawing or going to the movies.

Visualizing yourself as someone who is confident is imperative.

We’ve all seen the movies where a powerful woman walks in the room and everyone turns around and notices.

Although our lives may never be as dramatic as a movie, we can all strive for the type of confidence that displays purpose and power.

If you struggle with social skills, imagine yourself in situations where you are meeting new people and talking to them flawlessly.

Think about what you would say if you were fearless.

You can even develop a script in your head for certain situations that you can use in the real world whenever you experience them.

When I meet someone for the first time, I often think of the acronym F.O.R.M.

It stands for family, occupation, recreation, money. It’s the things that people usually feel comfortable talking about so I may start by asking them questions about any of these areas.

As you can see, walking confidently as a woman is a matter what’s going on inside your mind just as much as it is the external body language that you choose to display.

Kat Clukey

I am so glad you are here, and have chosen to spend your time reading my blog. I'm a Life Coach through the Procter Gallagher Institute . Since 2013, I have been on an intense mission to read books, go to seminars, and generally turn myself inside out to find out why some people seem to feel good in their own skin while I've struggled with self-worth and low self-esteem most of my adult life. I hope you find insights that help you on your journey!

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