How to be the Most Confident Girl/Woman in the Room


When going to network at an event or trying to socialize at a party, it is common for some people to be overcome with feelings of nervousness and self-doubt.

If you’re tired of being insecure in a room full of people you’ve come to the right place.

How can you be the most confident woman in the room? To be the most confident woman in the room, you first need to stop caring about what other people are thinking about you. Remind yourself that what they think about you is none of your business. Further, think of someone whose confidence you admire and emulate their presence in a room.

I read that last part somewhere and started to make that one of my go-to sayings.

The primary steps to being unforgettable when you enter the room are as follows:

  • Be positive
  • Introduce yourself
  • Use your body language to convey confidence
  • Listen to others when they speak.

These tips may seem a little intimidating, so let’s take a quick look at what each one means and how we can use them to become more fearless.

Fill the Room with Positivity. A positive mindset goes a long way when you are trying to socialize. If you obsess over everything that could go wrong, you won’t be able to see what’s going right. Stay focused on being positive when communicating so you can engage with others meaningfully. If you’re constantly in your head about things, you won’t be out here with people.

Introduce yourself Openly. When you’re shy, it seems more comfortable to have someone introduce you to an entire room of people all at once.

You’ll find you make a better impression and start conversations when you introduce yourself slowly to small groups of people.

This is a much better way of making connections. Chances are if you feel uncomfortable doing so, others most likely feel the same way.

Use your body language to convey confidence. Lead with a firm handshake. Fidgeting or avoiding eye contact are natural reactions to feeling nervous.

Unfortunately, our body language doesn’t tell others that we are shy; instead, it says we don’t care about what’s going on. In my case, my nervousness made my hands drip with sweat.

So much that it would run down my arm the minute I raised my hand.

Yes, I have sweaty palms and the more I think about it the more sweaty they get.

How did I deal with it (and still deal with it on occasion)?

When I introduced myself to people I didn’t know and my hands were sweaty, I looked at them, smiled and usually said something like, “Hello I’m Kat, I am so sorry my hand is sweaty (I proceeded to wipe my hand on my pants/dress) then shook their hand saying, nice to meet you.”

Acknowledging the “potential issue” sends a message to the other person that says, “Hi I’m Kat, I have sweaty palms. I hope it doesn’t gross you out, I’m OK if you do get grossed out AND, I’m looking forward to getting to know you.”

Confidence is accepting who you are, sweaty palms and all, and being ok with it.

What I found over time was when I acknowledged something that made me more anxious, like my sweaty palms touching someone else and being embarrassed about it, it made my hands less sweaty.

What I’m trying to say is, if you have something that you are embarrassed about and address it before someone else does, it can help reduce your anxiety about it and help increase your confidence.

Listen to others and be genuinely interested in them. If you want others to like you, enjoy having a conversation with you, and want to have more in the future to do with you, you have to listen.

(Avoid these common mistakes in eye contact when you are in a conversation) -Read my article here.

More importantly, don’t just listen to them to have something to say or respond, but listen because you genuinely want to get to know them.

Most of us don’t listen when others are talking. I know you might disagree, but hear me out.

Most of the time we are in our heads so much that we can’t really hear what they’re saying. When we go in our heads trying to come up with what to say or ask next, we actually have just left the conversation.

As soon as you notice that you’re not in the conversation, it’s time to re-engage.

Sometimes it’s hard to turn off the internal chatter we have going on in our mind, especially if we are nervous. I get it, we are afraid of looking bad, and we want to look good and sound smart.

But the more concerned you are with all of that the less you are really present in the conversation.

You’ll be surprised at how much people will reveal to you if they really know you are listening and truly care about the conversation.

This is really good news. We can all learn how to be the most confident woman in the room especially when you work on your listening skills.

How Can a Woman be Bold and Confident

Confidence is a tricky skill to master because it starts in your mind and is projected to the people around you.

You can become more confident with a few crucial changes to your mindset. These changes are relatively easy to understand and implement.

Be positive.

I can’t stress enough how important it is for you to be kind to yourself and others if you want to increase your confidence. Shifting your mindset to expect good things out of interactions will decrease your nerves. You’ll be surprised at how much easier it is to naturally smile and relax around others when you aren’t worried about the worst case scenario.

Being positive isn’t always easy. We are often unaware of how negative our thoughts are. We become accustomed to thinking badly about ourselves and then others. We have made bad habits about being negative. But you’d be surprised at how much better you feel about yourself when you are positive about what the day will bring.

So how can you change a negative mindset to a positive one? Start with GRATITUDE. You’ve heard this before, I’m sure of it.

Every self-help book and mentors I’ve studied with talk about attitude gratitude. Trust me, it works. I promise you, there is always something to be grateful for. If you’re still having a hard time coming up with one, here I’ll give you Two. If you are reading this, you have the gift of eye sight and access to the internet. Be grateful for those things. Access to the internet is not available to everyone.

Identify what scares you.

To overcome your anxiety and fear you have to address what you are scared of.

More often than not what you are scared of isn’t that big of a deal.

There was a time when I was so afraid of upsetting anyone that it often paralyzed me from making decisions and taking actions. If you can relate then you know the struggle. Don’t get me wrong, I still have those thoughts of not wanting to upset anyone but it rarely stops me from making decisions and taking actions that are in alignment with who I am and what I am about. I realize that what’s really behind someone being upset may really not have anything to do with me.

It’s irrational to let the things that scare you to stop you. When I stopped allowing those fears to dictate my life, all of a sudden I had the courage to do the opposite of what I would normally do, like say no when it’s appropriate and the confidence to stand up for the decision I made. And that’s bold.

Play to your strengths

To play your strengths, you first have to identify them.

Think about: when do you feel the most confident and what makes you unique?

This is how you take an inventory of yourself. Find the qualities about yourself that you like.

When I was younger, I didn’t like anything about myself except my teeth. They were straight (for never wearing braces).

Regardless, I never really smiled (I felt like at the time I had nothing to smile about).

This changed when I got a job I didn’t want to lose.

I was working at a Japanese restaurant as a hostess.

Every day, I looked at myself in the mirror when I got to work and told myself, “I have nice teeth so I should show them.” I ended my little dramatic self-talk by smiling at myself and then reminded myself to smile at every customer when they walked in.

I wish I could say that this was my first epiphany when it came to building self-esteem, but the truth was:

I did it because I was worried that someone would complain because I had a resting b- face. But eventually smiling became natural.

Sometimes you have to force yourself to like yourself until you wake up one day and say, “Wow, I really like myself.” Took me over 15 years, wink.

Once you identify these strengths use them in your everyday life.

Redesign how you interact with others by using your strengths as a focal point.

This means going after opportunities at work that you know you will shine at doing because you are good at those specific things.

Things tend to work better when everyone is doing what they are best at.

Using your strengths to your advantage is fundamental when working on becoming bolder. You don’t do yourself any favors by only paying attention to your weaknesses.

Yes, we should all work on developing our weaknesses into strengths, but what about the strengths you already have.

Shy people are often overwhelmed when interacting with others because the try to appear outgoing. When you aren’t being yourself you feel awkward and even if other people don’t pick up on that you are still doing yourself a disservice.

You don’t have to be outgoing, funny, or intelligent to be charming. You just need to be yourself.

Know yourself

When starting a journey to increase our self-worth we can’t overlook our truth. Your truth is who you are, what you believe in, and what you know to be true about your life.

To live your truth means you are not living to fit other peoples expectations or our own unrealistic ideals.

It’s hard to love yourself if you aren’t living your truth because you are constantly trying to change who you really are deep down.

Embrace the things about yourself that are different or less than perfect. There is only one you out there. You are a unique being that brings worth and when you value that fact you will radiate confidence.

Take care of yourself

As women, we have to feel good in order to be our best self. Whether you are at work, at home, or with others taking care of yourself can go a long way.

To feel good about yourself is not all about looking good but you can’t deny that looking our best impacts how we feel about ourselves.

Looking your best and feeling good about yourself means you do things just for you. It’s not about looking good for anyone else. It’s about taking care of your body regardless of what it looks like and doing things that make us feel good about ourselves.

This means basic hygeine, eating healthy, and grooming, but also those little things just for you like painting your nails, working out, massages, dance classes, nice clothes, relaxation, and anything else that makes you happy and feel better about yourself.

Being our best self means taking care of all of our self. You can’t just work on mental practices because the way you look and feel about how you look can make or break your confidence.

You can achieve great things when you are positive and not afraid of making mistakes. Use your strengths to appear bold and confident at work and you will soon be able to do anything. If you try to implement these tactics and you feel uncomfortable, then you are doing it right. Help yourself feel good by doing things that make you feel good about how you look. Shifting your mindset is a little uncomfortable at first, but the benefits are worth it. What do you really have to lose?

How Do You Walk into a Room with Confidence

Walking into an environment filled with people can be intimidating. You may feel like everyone’s eyes are on you and you buckle under the pressure. (Here is my guide on walking for women)

When walking into a room you can do many things to boost your self-esteem beforehand, but the most useful tactic you can use is the simplest.

Know what to expect. I know. Hear me out.

Research beforehand who is going to be in that room. This will humanize the entire experience so you can get a grip on the fact that these are just regular people like you.

Come to terms with whatever the purpose of this meeting is for everyone including yourself.

You will feel a lot more secure with a game plan and some insider knowledge.

How do girls walk with confidence?

When walking into a room whether it’s a meeting, a party, your workplace, or even a restaurant you want to walk in fearlessly. To do that you will need to walk with correct posture and poise.

So you can talk the talk, but your slouch and shifting gaze tells a whole other story.

Walking with confidence is one of those things that will take practice and make others take notice.

To walk confidently you have to be willing to step outside your comfort zone with grace.

Often we aren’t moving with our curves and the natural swing of our hips. We try to shrink ourselves so we aren’t taking up as much space. Or worse, try not to look overly feminine.

Walking should be one thing that comes natural to us but after years of trying not to stand out, you will have to actively work at walking with poise and grace.

Own your feminine body when you walk by following these guidelines:

Know where you are going:

  • Keep a neutral expression or a smile (No scowling.)
  • Stand tall
  • Keep your head up
  • Keep your shoulders back
  • Keep your arms relaxed at your sides
  • Take natural steps in a straight line
  • Walk comfortably and
  • Let the motion of your walk flow through your body (hips included)
  • Stay focused on where you are going ( Do not use your phone as a crutch)

How can I look calm and confident?

To exude confidence you have to combat nervousness and stay calm. Fear turns into panic pretty quickly. That fear will be apparent to others because our bodies can’t help but respond to it. Good news is, there are two simple ways to combat fear and look calmly confident while doing it.

Try taking deeper breaths.You don’t want to appear frantic or out of breath when you go to speak. Taking deep breaths will make you naturally feel more relaxed even in highly stressful environments.

Give yourself time. Don’t rush through your statements. Take time to listen and mull over how you should respond. This will help with your problem-solving skills and make you a better conversationalist.

Don’t be afraid to make mistakes. Fear turns into panic pretty quickly. That fear will be apparent to others because our bodies can’t help but respond to fear. Good news is, there are two simple ways to look more calm.

Confident body language gestures

We can communicate lots of different emotions with our body including self-assuredness. To appear more open and engaged try to not cross your arms or fidget.

Fidgeting says “I’m bored” and crossing your arms says “I’m uncomfortable.”

Consider the body language you would have if you were the keynote speaker for the room. Chances are, you would have “open body language” generally speaking.

Imagine that you had the mic and everyone expected you to act a certain way. What might they expect to see from you?

The attitude of a confident woman

To radiate confidence we must own our truth and feel comfortable with ourselves both physically and mentally. That means take steps

Love every facet of who you are and own it so when you walk into a room everyone will be able to tell you are a confident woman.

Kat Clukey

I am so glad you are here, and have chosen to spend your time reading my blog. For the past 4 plus years, I have been on an intense mission to read books, go to seminars, and generally turn myself inside out to find out why some people seem to feel good in their own skin while I've struggled with self-worth and low self-esteem most of my adult life. I hope you find insights that help you on your journey!

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